Thanksgiving Weekend

What a WEEKEND! I feel like so much has happened, both good and bad. Thanks to Jesus Calling this week, I am reminded we "reside in a fallen world, where blessings and sorrows intermingle freely". THE BEST PART is that if we choose to remember to thank Him at all times, both good and bad, "we may walk through the darkest days with JOY in their hearts because they know that the Light of My Presence is still shining on them". So, thank you, Jesus, for being "my steadfast companion".

This week I was so happy to have a visitor, Emily, who came on Wednesday and stayed until Monday morning. Although I was elated to have a Thanksgiving visitor, I had some previously planned business to attend to.

My car got a facelift... just kidding. But I did trade cars! My other car really had taken a lot of beatings and had some big internal problems, so my mechanic suggested we try and sell it and buy another that had been taken better care of by the previous owner. Here's the new girl - Mitsubishi Montero Sport. She's maroon, which seems to run in my family for our cars... Either way, I'm much happier. It's quiet, runs well, and came over from the US with only 1 previous owner. I'm hoping it can serve both myself and JEC much better than the last one.

So after making final arrangements with the car, my teacher friends and I headed to Tegus to have Thanksgiving lunch at TGI Fridays and see Twilight! We even participated in a little dance competition in the mall and drew quite a crowd.

The movie ended up premiering here a week later, so we returned on Friday to see our friends Bella & Edward. Well... mainly just Edward. The theatre here has a restaurant inside where you can order coffee, crepes, paninis (hot and cold), and curly fries. So this gave us an excuse to order a few too many Nutella crepes. I personally shouldn't have had coffee, because I was a little too excited during the film. It ended up being a great two-day Thanksgiving celebration, and I'm so happy we were able to finalize all the details of the car and have a fun outing (or two).

After getting some housework done on Saturday morning, I get a call that one of the boys had chopped his leg pretty bad with the machete (this is not the first time I have received this call). So I rushed over to our other property and picked up Samuel Guity to take to the clinic. He got 4 stitches and was very brave.

After eating lunch we took a few of the boys hiking. Emily is an avid hiker, and she suggested we go to the river where she had been before with some of the boys several years back. I'm not much of a hiker, but I agreed since I had never been. After driving on a "road" (huge exaggeration by using that word) and walking uphill a while, we took the last stretch downhill to this little paradise. The day could not have been any more beautiful and breezy, so we enjoyed snacks and "platica" (chatting) while sitting on the rocks and the cool mist of the waterfall. Poppy enjoyed herself, got out of her leash, and ended up being carried most of the way. Shocker.

Sunday Emily invited me to stay at the Mariott with her before having to catch her plane on Monday, so we headed into the lap of luxury... plush beds, hot showers, and a NICE dinner. We took several of her friends to dinner at a place I had heard about, but never tired. WOW. It did not disappoint. Hacienda Real is now my favorite Honduras restaurant. So delicious. We ate tilapia, guacamole, etc etc etc.

Now its back to reality here at JEC. Sorry this post is mainly about me and not so much about the boys. Just wanted to update friends and family on what I did for Thanksgiving weekend! We're in the grind here for my Alison school boys. Trying to get last minute projects done and finish the semester off right. The public school boys will have their graduation next week, and Antony (kinder) graduates this Saturday. Hondurans make a big deal out of kindergarten graduation, so I can't wait to see little Antony in his cap and gown! Pictures will come soon to a blog near you. Hope you all had an amazing holiday!!

Back in Action!

Sorry for the hiatus, but I’ve been away! I snuck away to the states for some much needed R&R and time with family. This summer my two trips were specifically for best friends’ weddings, therefore not leaving too much time with my family. It was great to be home, experience a football game or two and see the fall colors! I realized last year I missed fall entirely - and it’s my favorite season!

Here in JEC things are going really well. The public school boys are most all our for “summer vacation”... meaning December and January are the two months in between school years. My Alison boys are still in full swing getting ready to end first semester. As posted last year the school has an annual pajama night where the kids come dressed in their favorite pj’s, drink hot cocoa, and read in their classrooms with friends, parents, and their teachers. Here’s a picture before we left (Shelly had just woken up from a nap) and when we arrived. Much different, eh?

The next activity we’re preparing for is “dress like your favorite story-book character day”. This is on the 30th, so we’re trying to pick characters, dream up costumes, and then actually get them together in time. This is all because November is reading month, so the boys have been taking part of lots of reading activities.

We are also getting excited at JEC because soon we will be able to release all our new products. This includes our new 2013 calendar, new logo, and new website design! The proofs are looking awesome, and we are so excited to be able to share it with you all soon!!! Above is a picture of our newest addition, Amilcar! He’s such a sweetie!

For Thanksgiving I celebrated last Friday with the teachers from the Alison school. I made garlic and sour cream mashed potatoes to go along with our turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, roasted veggies and pumpkin pie. It was a fun day - lots of work - but shared with lovely people being thankful for a little piece of home down here in Honduras.

Since tomorrow is actually Thanksgiving, the girls and I are thinking about heading into Tegus to do something fun. Maybe see a movie in the new City Mall, where supposedly has a restaurant inside the theatre so you can order and be waited on while watching the movie. The best part is it only costs about the same as a movie in the states, so it’s not exactly even a splurge.

I will have another exciting announcement to make before the end of the year (SI DIOS QUIERE - LORD WILLING), so stay tuned! Please check out my new headers of my blog which include my story, how to help, and JEC info links.

Television Show

I constantly catch myself thinking about how my life here is such a television show. Maybe a latin television show. Or possible a soap opera.

Example: babies pee on my clothes, people throw up on me, I walk off leaving my car door wide open, I fall down stairs, visiting 4 ATM's before finding one that allows my card to take out cash, etc.

I think you all get it.

My friend, Lindy, emailed me yesterday asking what all was new with me, and as I wrote her a novel about all the changes/exciting/dramatic things that had happened, I realized I needed to write this stuff down and sell it one day. Therefore I wanted to share some news of one, particularly exciting recent even in my life (watch out - lots of adjectives there).

As I wrote about a few months ago, I have officially been here one year! Although in some ways it seems like I have been here forever, I have definitely started to feel the wear and tear of missing home, family, and friends. One of the biggest differences for people living abroad is always culture. You have these stereotypes for latin cultures - always eating rice and beans - and while part of that is true, there are many other IMPORTANT aspects left out.

This culture is very blunt - which I believe I have mentioned before. People say what's on their mind, and while they are not trying to put you down, sometimes things translate that way and feelings get hurt. There is also lots of joking. While at first jokes can be funny, after a year of hearing the same jokes made at your expense, it gets a little old. Actually it gets REALLY old. So lately I have found myself feeling extra tired, testy, and easily annoyed. I have even found myself feeling lonely and sad at times. It's hard to believe anyone could feel lonely in a home where there are 55 energetic boys and (as of recent) lots of puppies to keep one company.

The difference is I am from the United States. Before I sometimes found myself trying to blend in as if I were Honduran, but now I am realizing this isn't anything to be ashamed of. It's where I was born & raised, and I am proud to call it home.

Therefore without further adieu, I reveal my exciting news...

I MOVED! Here is my justification before you all gasp and say, "but isn't Honduras too dangerous to live alone", etc. I really believe the main cause for all of those emotions listed above was the lack of personal space/privacy while living here at JEC. At times I found myself retreating to my room to eat lunch alone just to have a few minutes of quiet to myself. I think this is a very fair decision... something my soul needs. Considering I moved out of my parents' home when I finished high school and didn't move back in until before moving abroad, I have always done well living alone or with a few roommates. I am a big believer of the importance of alone time. Although I am really outgoing, my heart was longing for this privacy and separation from my job here at JEC and my personal life outside of work. God calls us to spend alone time with Him not just because He wants it, but because He knows WE n e e d it.

I moved in yesterday with the help of these good looking guys, and it was the easiest move- in ever. They did it all for me! I didn't even have to pay movers - just bought them all coke, and they were happy to help!

By 10 AM the moving truck was leaving my newly rented 2- story home, and all my belongings were making themselves nice and cozy in their new place... on the floor of the apartment. I am still lacking lots of furniture, considering I only have a armoire for clothes, refrigerator, kitchen table (which I purchased for $25 at the downtown market), and bed.

I've been running around the past two days like crazy trying to buy things I never needed while living at JEC - everything from a shower curtain and toilet paper to trash cans and a pantry (no luck yet). I know it will take time, just like in college when I had to buy all new furniture. Unfortunately here there's no flea market or TJ Maxx to get great things at great prices. Here its like a witch hunt. I will post more pix as things get settled, but know that this place is safe. Its right next door to a co-worker and another friend who is male and teaches at the bilingual school, and everyone who lives around me is family of my coworker. I feel like already everyone is going to watch out for me. This does not mean I am going to walk lightly, because I am always going to be cautious while in a different country.

Please pray for me during this change in my journey here. All the employees both here in Honduras and stateside believe this will be a good change for me. They all agree it is something I need considering I have had to alter so much to fit the culture here. I believe its time to have a little change and do something a little selfish. My worst fear would be to burn out and leave resentful or with a bad taste in my mouth. These boys pictured here are my hope and keep me going each day. I love the precious moments we have (which I will write about soon) each day, and I look forward to seeing their sweet faces every morning.

Cheers to change!

Weekend Recovery

This weekend I’m sure is still happening for all of you back home - being Labor day and all. Not here... we’re back in the swing of things this morning. And some of us (this girl) is still recovering from a weekend jammed packed with fun events.

Friday evening I stayed at JEC instead of heading out to my usual weekend activities. I stayed for two reasons- one being that the majority of the employees (houseparents, director, other staff) had retreated to Choluteca to go fishing. Although I wanted to go, I had a second reason to stay - there was no one to take Nelson to his first school dance. NATURALLY I made myself “disponible” (available) to take him since the idea of Nelson dancing with another little six grade girl made my heart jump.

Luckily I have made friends with the other young, single teachers at the school, and we all decided to meet up at the dance and hang out after. Nelson borrowed a button-down from his older brother, Alex, and was dressed and ready by 4:30. The dance didn’t start until 6. Can you tell he was excited?

It poured all afternoon (see pictures above of that storm rolling in), and we arrived at 6:15 (that was the longest I could make him wait). Hondurans are known to be late anyway, and you never want to arrive to a party exactly on time... right? We ate pizza and watched the 4th-6th grade girls dance their hearts out. There is a certain boy named Andre, who I believe has downs-syndrome, but he completely understands what’s going on around him. Andre and his sister ROCKED that dance floor, and he even walked away with some cash ($5) for winning the dance contest. Nelson refused to dance really... he only jumped up and down to “Party Rock” since its his favorite song. We left the dance and went to bed around 9ish.

Saturday I got up and went into the city to run some errands. I did some therapeutic shopping at Wal-Mart finding clementines and spinach by the bag for only $0.25!!!!!!! So pumped. I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with Junior's nephew, Gabriel. He's finally come around to like me, so we spend a lot of time dancing and playing with the doggies together. He jumps and screams and plays rough with the dogs and never cries! He loves his uncle J, too.

Saturday night Junior and I made his family stir fry (again - their new favorite dish) and then went to a party with him and his sister to benefit their local soccer team. We danced the night away as everyone tried to teach me how to dance punta, cumbia, merengue, and all the other latino dances. I was great. It was lots of fun.

Sunday morning I got up early, ate pancakes, and went to church in the city. Then I rushed back to Zamorano to the 8th Annual PanAmerican Party at the Agricultural University there in Zamorano. My teacher friends had gone last year and said it was lots of fun, so we decided to go around lunchtime and check out the food situation. There were TONS of people, vendors, and informative tables for each one of the 21 countries the students represent at the university. The event is sponsored by Jetsero (think Best Buy for Honduras), therefore we had a huge stage where the students performed dances which originated from each country. It was so cool (as in neat), but unfortuantely it was 97 MILLION DEGREES, and in order to see you had to stand directly under the sun. We had lunch and then watched only two countries perform before we couldn’t take the heat anymore. Honduran women don’t seem to sweat, but unfortunately I’m not that lucky.

After dropping the other girls off, I headed back to JEC to finish the day doing laundry, washing my car, and cleaning my room. I even squeezed in a one-hour nap, watched Steel Magnolias, and ate ramen noodles & a quesadilla for dinner. Pictured below is my newest addition to my room here at JEC, a gift from Junior. I think it suits me well, right?

It was indeed one, great weekend, and I am looking forward to another busy week here at JEC. September and October are super busy months for us (and me), therefore I will try to write as much as I can!

One of Those Days

Yesterday I cried in front of three of my bilingual boys.

Not just like one, single tear rolling down my cheek, but flat out cried. Lose your breath, stomach contracting, can't talk kind of snotty cry. It wasn't pretty. All three just stared at me with blank, "what the heck just happened" and "what do we say" kind of looks. I kept trying to get it together, but the fact was... yesterday was just one of those days.

For me, I don't really have many of those days... like ever. I'm a pretty tough cookie. It takes a lot for me to cry, but one thing that always does me over is when I get my feelings hurt. Here in Honduras things are different - culturally, I mean. People will say you look like you're "fatter" or that your hair looks "dead/old/ugly" or point out your blemishes on your face. They never mean any harm, but they are just a very blunt culture. They see things for how they are, and they let you know their opinions. This has taken some getting used to. Part of me really was offensive towards the beginning, but now I know I have to remember they don't mean any harm.

Yesterday was one of those days when I let it get to me.

Several of the older boys I don't think really understand why I am here. They probably think its because I live here for free, eat for free, and am just "having a good time". WRONG. I have a nice bed at home. I have great family and friends at home. And I'll go ahead and make a bold statement saying I could probably find some sort of job at home. NEWSBREAK: that's not why I'm here... like at all.

Without rattling on with details, several of the older boys have been ignoring me for pointless reasons. We use the word here - "malcriado", which technically is like selfish, spoiled, ungrateful. Sometimes they just decide to write you off - for no reason whatsoever - leaving one feeling useless and unworthy of their company. Again I should not let my feelings get hurt, but this time I did. They were sent/made to come apologize, but it was clear to me they didn't mean it. Only one of the three really seemed like he was sorry, and I let the other two have it. I kept asking them why they treated me like that... what I had done to deserve it...etc. Their only response was that I had done something to tick them off, even though I had apologized "for whatever I had done" several times. Sidenote: this has been going on since the day I returned.

My heart literally broke as I tried to tell them how much I care for them, and that they all are brothers to me. One specifically acted like he could give a rat's *@$, and it just blew the top off for me. I started crying while I was trying to tell them how much they had hurt me, and I didn't even get choked up to begin with - just straight bawling. I was in the yellow house at this point - and I feared for all the young ones to see me, therefore I rushed into the homework room with my three little ones and let it all come out. Unfortunately we didn't resolve anything, and I just tried to go on after about 10 minutes of sniffles and tears.

The little ones asked me why I was crying, and all I could think to say was something they unfortunately will have to learn one day... "that people can be really cruel sometimes, even when you don't think you deserve it. But we must remember we never know what someone else is going through". Lessons for the third graders... I pray no one ever makes them cry. They are so innocent.

I went back to my room and clung my Jesus Calling to my chest. I thanked God for the conversation, even though it made my heart hurt. Who knows, maybe I gained some ground with those boys?

After eating dinner alone, crying a little more, and really missing home, I decided I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. I marched my little butt over to see my little ones again while they got ready for bed. I found all the boys in their bedrooms, studying for their upcoming tests and chatting about family and best friends. I got to tuck in a few boys, help them change into their PJ's, and I had 18 good night hugs. It was just what I needed. Some love. I needed to know I was loved and appreciated. Here I am trying to give these 5-18 year olds love, when in turn I still crave that affection at 24 years old. Will it ever end? Probably not. But last night I was grateful for those sloppy kisses and smelly hugs more than ever.

Thank you, Jesus, for each day... even if at times it is one of those not-so-great ones.

Birthday Cake

Every month we have a birthday celebration for all the boys/staff that celebrate for that month. This past Thursday afternoon we celebrated a few special birthday boys from the pink and yellow houses.

We start by all walking over to Tio Ronald's (the director's) house. He literally lives next door and has a beautiful outdoor area fit for nothing more perfect than a birthday party. The house has an entire wrap-around, tiled area with swings, benches, rocking chairs, and tons and tons of plants. The trees and plants make it the perfect place to relax late afternoon with a great breeze and a stereo system to PUMP THE JAMS.

This time, we had a special visit from two clowns (family of one of our employees) who came dressed to the nine's to play the part. We played enough musical chairs, hot potato, and races to tire anyone. Especially this little 5 year old.

After playing games and listening to "Party Rock" on repeat (the boys favorite song), it was time for the pinata. This is by far the boys favorite part. I mean, what little boy doesn't like to pick up a bat and hit something? The fact that candy falls out is only a bonus. We always let the birthday boys go first, and then if it still hasn't busted, we go from smallest to largest. This is always so fun and a mystery as to who is going to break it first! This month, it was Jimmy who broke it!

Post pinata usually means time for cake! We sing happy birthday (one of the 7 million spanish versions), cut cake, and then the birthday boys get a special little gift. This is usually something like a puzzle, a squirt gun, or something small (we don't need any more jealousy around here with 55 little boys). I was lucky enough to dance with several of the boys (they think I'm the best dancer) and even share a piece of cake with Norman. It's the little moments that make me, oh so happy.

This month we celebrated Jose Alexander (7), Daniel (8), and Hector (12). All but Hector are pictured above on the swing-set. We had two more boys from the green house who celebrated this month, too. They are planning on celebrating this week. I'm sure it will include playstation, cake, and being smart alecks. Just kidding (kind of)... teenage boys... *sigh*.

On another note, Poppy had a great time on Thursday. She may have even been the life of the party :)

Learning

Sometimes life is tough.

Who am I kidding...? Life is usually pretty tough. I don’t think its meant to be easy, because if there is one thing worth fighting for - it’s your life. You only get one (enter cliche here), so why waste it by giving up when the going gets tough. Found this image on Pinterest, and I think this is the story of my current life.

Enough preaching. Life here at Jovenes has been, in my spoiled-little-American opinion, really tough for a lot of these boys. They are still dealing with lots of emotional issues - especially the older boys. They are the ones who remember more of their past, including some who remember just how much their parents didn’t want them. Some are luckier, meaning their parents come and visit when they have the money to afford the bus fare, but this is maybe once a month. These parents are the ones who realized they weren’t able to financially provide for their boys - a life with an education, 3 meals a day, and dreams of college.

Unfortunately some of these older boys come with serious attitudes. All are trying to decide who they are/want to be as they approach manhood, and sometimes there are ugly side effects. Some rebel in the home - bad attitudes, refusing to do chores, bullying, etc. Some rebel at school - bullying, skipping class, or making poor grades. And then there are those who are indifferent - who care less how their time is spent. The “indifferents” are the worst in my opinion. These are the ones who don't realize their potential and don't take advantage of their opportunities. These just want to eat, sleep, and walk around as if life is worthless. The lack of ambition or dreams is painful for us here at JEC. We want these boys to realize their worth. Realize that anything is possible with people who believe in them and want to help them financially, so they can take chances and learn from their mistakes.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the sense that these boys haven’t had these options even laid out for them in the past, meaning their minds haven’t even started to process the endless possibilities they have.

This past week the boys grades came back from the second quarter (just now getting these as we’re finishing 3rd quarter - this is Honduras, baby). Some of the boys did amazing - all the younger boys (3 of the 5 pictured above). They are the ones who just started high school this year, and they have really gone above and beyond to excel this school year. The older ones are where the indifferents lie. First quarter was a complete and total disaster. Most just really fell apart, therefore punishments were put in place (no soccer, tv, playstation, etc), and the majority really came back second semester. Unfortunately about 5 failed several classes again.

This is where things get difficult. This is where I am learning to be a parent without having given birth to my own child. How do you punish someone who is indifferent? I have learned, even though it sounds vicious, you must take away what they love most. If this is their bicycle they purchased with their own money, so be it. If this means they have to clean yucky, pee-stenched bathrooms, so be it. This “giving of punishment” isn’t pretty, especially when 16 and 17 year-olds start crying in front of you. So here come the magic questions...

How do you explain to someone they are wasting their potential?

How do you tell someone you love they can be so much more without insulting them?

How do you reveal to a teenage boy he has been blessed to be given an education and a home when so many in Honduras (and other countries) aren’t so lucky?

How do you explain that punishment isn’t given to make them mad, and that this punishment hurts us just as bad (if not worse) than them?

I left the meeting feeling drained. We congratulated those who had exceeded our expectations, and then met with the others. While telling all the boys who passed all their classes, my heart was bursting with joy. I am so proud of these boys. I know this must be some type of parental love. When I sit back I look at each boy and see how far they’ve come, actual tears come to my eyes. For those who know me, you get how big this is considering I hardly ever cry. It takes something really sad or extremely beautiful to moisten these “ojos”. Some of these boys I’ve been lucky to know well for a while now, others I’ve just gotten to know in the past year. I cannot wait continuing watching them grow, find themselves, and become great men.

Today I am praising God for these moments - when my heart is bursting with overflowing joy and hope for the futures of these guys. I am also praising Him for teaching me the lesson of punishing a child - only when there is a lesson to be learned. I look back and understand I was punished only for the purpose of being a better person .

So thank you, Lord, for these lessons you teach me. Thanks, mom and dad, for not saying “I told you so”. And thanks friends and family, for your prayers for these boys and their futures!

Here is a funny picture for all to enjoy. I found this on my camera this morning. One of the boys took this of me doing laundry last night. I am grateful and proud of our washing machine and dryer!! It saves me a lot of arm work.