Nothing Will Ever Matter

"Do you know that nothing you do in this life will matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?" -Francis Chain

I saw this quote this morning on my Facebook, and it really resonated with me. I know I am sinner. I think that's step one, right? I've got that pretty well covered. But what am I doing about it? Just because I'm living in Honduras as a "missionary" doesn't mean I get to pass GO & collect salvation. Because that life doesn't exist. So why does it matter?

Well to me it matters because I have been brought to this earth for a reason. So whatever you believe about God or another higher being, can you at least agree you were born to fulfill some purpose? I believe this is what I am here for.

I am here to love God, do His will, and love His people. 

All those things can be done in the comfort of your own hometown. That's the glorious part about it. And you're allowed to mess up (a lot). Actually that may be the best part - I'm held accountable, but I'm forgiven when I make mistakes... because I tend to do that often.

My goal is to somehow change people's lives for the better. No matter how small of a difference, I want to make one. I can't do that in a meaningful way unless I'm doing it for Him. So when these boys test me to my limit, when I'm homesick like crazy, when I'm down and feeling lonely, when I miss the comforts of home - I push myself to remember WHY I'm here in the first place.

Because nothing I do in this life will ever matter unless I'm doing it because I love Jesus, and I love his people. 

Mother's Day Isn't Just For Birth Moms

Not exactly sure why, but Mother's day here is celebrated the same day as Mother's day in the US (even though Father's day is different?). Here it might even be considered a bigger deal, and is really celebrated in a big way.

the men of JEC

The men of Jovenes always come together and plan some big "secret" day for the women, and then those who have wives invite them to come along. We all know each other well by now, so we really are like one, big family when we head out on the blue JEC bus.

Each invite had our picture on it!

This year we received formal invitations the day before our outing inviting us to join them in Valley of the Angels (about 2 hrs away from JEC). So Thursday we loaded up the bus all dressed in our finest and headed towards out destination. We arrived at a private club with a pool, jungle gyms, ponies, a small "zoo" and a restaurant. We sat in a U shape where our "master of ceremonies", Tio Elvir, welcomed everyone and several more of our coworkers spoke about what "mothers" mean to them. We played a game and then everyone was quite hungry.

ladies of JEC

Leave it to the men to choose good food - so when I say we feasted, we really feasted. After full bellies we played another game where THIS GIRL won another full plate of food to take home for dinner :) Each lady received several gifts including a mother's day coffee mug, tubberware and a pedicure set.

local art in Valley of the Angels

After walking around the club, taking group pictures, and letting our food settle, we headed to downtown valley of the angels, a very touristy spot, and spent some time shopping. It was an awesome day to relax and enjoy each others company as coworkers in a non-work environment.

my boys minus Daniel who was being camera shy

My second mother's day celebration was on Monday at the bilingual school, Allison Bixby Stone. Several of the boys had invited me to be their mom and come eat lunch with them. We were invited to sit with the boys, have lunch, play games, and were serenaded by live music. The boys made me cards and bracelets, and we ate pupusas for lunch.

Norman and Cristian making bracelets

Although I am not their birth mother or even their adopted mother, I feel like these boys are my family. I feel protective over them. Punishing them hurts me worse than them (finally learned that lesson was true). I am happy when they are happy. I am elated when they are successful and hurt for them when they are down.

Antony

Antony, the youngest in kindergarten, even made me this sweet flower box and wrote "Happy Mom's Day" on it. I am proudly displaying it on my desk in the office today and considering never taking it off.

my sweet flower box Antony made me

Needless to say I am feeling loved and appreciated and am so proud to be a mother-figure to these boys! And to all those women out there who may not be birth mothers, you have just as much right to celebrate this day as any.


*I would like to take this chance to remind everyone I am currently fundraising to help pay for my new house I wrote about in my last post. If you can help in any way, please visit my DONATE page at the top of my blog or share my blog with others you know. Thank you!

New House!

One thing I've discovered about myself while living in Honduras is I don't like anyone to think I'm "too good" to live they like everyone else here does. One thing I've known about myself for quite some time is I also don't like to feel I've let anyone down... ever. Sometimes I think I let these things get in the way of taking care of me, and in order to take care of me, I need a few comforts from home.

THEREFORE I am proud, elated, yet humbled to announce I am moving into a new home walking distance from JEC.

This little "typico" house belongs to a retired couple in Zamorano who rent this house, around 200 yards off their main home, to locals who need something fully furnished. Not only is the house comfortable, but its SAFE.

The house has its own gate on my end (directly to the right of this picture), but the owners have their own gate as well. These are high gates which usually ward off any unwanted guests. Then if the gates don't cut it, they have 5 german shepherds to do the trick. I received this email earlier today from my landlord:

"Please remember we live in the country, therefore snakes and wild animals are pretty average. Luckily the dogs usually take care of this before we have to see them."

I'm not sure I can say it enough - Thank you, Lord, for german shepherds!!!

kitchen area

The house has a small kitchen, also fully furnished (amazing!!), a living area with a kitchen table (YOU MEAN I CAN ACTUALLY SIT AT A TABLE AND ENJOY A MEAL?), one main bedroom with a closet, a small guest bed with a closet, and a bathroom. I still have my outside washing board and basin - for all those of you who were worrying!

living and dining room area

On a more serious note (I know you can all tell just how excited I am), I am very humbled this was able to work out the way it did. For a while now, I've felt very bogged down by the culture, the people, and often have questioned why I have put up with it all. But the one unwavering call I cannot deny is these boys. They have been faithful in their need for me. They don't let me down. And sometimes even though they're frustrated with me (as an authority figure), I know they love me and appreciate me. And sometimes I cannot even say that much about the adults here.

I have a hot water heater (see shower head) even if it does come out in a trickle!

When people ask me what I miss the most about home, obviously family and friends come first to mind. Shortly after I think about the little luxuries like in my last post, but most often I miss my culture. I miss the ability to talk to someone and fully believe every word they are saying. To know they aren't lying just to lie. To not have to question friendships and motives. No one is perfect, but this is something I am telling you all - we do not appreciate it like we should.

master bedroom

I am more grateful now than ever to have been brought up in a home where no one lied to me. Where my parents taught me honor, trust, and all good things. Sometimes I think this culture is so wrong for so many reasons because they simply know no better. This was the way they were raised. And THAT means these boys at JEC have a strong advantage. They're growing up slightly different than most young men in this country. They're being raised by loving, christian families who teach them about Jesus and His qualities. This is something we should ALL be extremely grateful for if we care about these boys.

where I will wash clothes/water source

So, starting on May 7th, I can walk to work. I can go to bed and not have to worry about something happening to me in my sleep (sorry mom). I can rest assured God is truly watching over me and has been the entire time. I can walk over to the green house and watch a movie on Saturday nights. I can stay late and do homework with the bilingual boys and not have to worry about getting home late in the dark. These are simple things, but they have uplifted my spirit and washed my worries away.

I needed a private place to relax and renew my spirit, but moving out of JEC came at a cost of feeling lonely and unsafe at times. God has answered a prayer and a worry I didn't realize I had until it was taken away.

Now if that's not a God who's looking out for me, what is?

**Lastly, I am fundraising to live in my new home. The price of rent here is over 3 times my last rent. If you can help, I cannot tell you how much it would mean to me. Checks can be made to Harpeth Hills Church of Christ with "Annie Brown - Honduras" on the tag line. Please check out the DONATE page of my blog for more details.