Learning

Sometimes life is tough.

Who am I kidding...? Life is usually pretty tough. I don’t think its meant to be easy, because if there is one thing worth fighting for - it’s your life. You only get one (enter cliche here), so why waste it by giving up when the going gets tough. Found this image on Pinterest, and I think this is the story of my current life.

Enough preaching. Life here at Jovenes has been, in my spoiled-little-American opinion, really tough for a lot of these boys. They are still dealing with lots of emotional issues - especially the older boys. They are the ones who remember more of their past, including some who remember just how much their parents didn’t want them. Some are luckier, meaning their parents come and visit when they have the money to afford the bus fare, but this is maybe once a month. These parents are the ones who realized they weren’t able to financially provide for their boys - a life with an education, 3 meals a day, and dreams of college.

Unfortunately some of these older boys come with serious attitudes. All are trying to decide who they are/want to be as they approach manhood, and sometimes there are ugly side effects. Some rebel in the home - bad attitudes, refusing to do chores, bullying, etc. Some rebel at school - bullying, skipping class, or making poor grades. And then there are those who are indifferent - who care less how their time is spent. The “indifferents” are the worst in my opinion. These are the ones who don't realize their potential and don't take advantage of their opportunities. These just want to eat, sleep, and walk around as if life is worthless. The lack of ambition or dreams is painful for us here at JEC. We want these boys to realize their worth. Realize that anything is possible with people who believe in them and want to help them financially, so they can take chances and learn from their mistakes.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the sense that these boys haven’t had these options even laid out for them in the past, meaning their minds haven’t even started to process the endless possibilities they have.

This past week the boys grades came back from the second quarter (just now getting these as we’re finishing 3rd quarter - this is Honduras, baby). Some of the boys did amazing - all the younger boys (3 of the 5 pictured above). They are the ones who just started high school this year, and they have really gone above and beyond to excel this school year. The older ones are where the indifferents lie. First quarter was a complete and total disaster. Most just really fell apart, therefore punishments were put in place (no soccer, tv, playstation, etc), and the majority really came back second semester. Unfortunately about 5 failed several classes again.

This is where things get difficult. This is where I am learning to be a parent without having given birth to my own child. How do you punish someone who is indifferent? I have learned, even though it sounds vicious, you must take away what they love most. If this is their bicycle they purchased with their own money, so be it. If this means they have to clean yucky, pee-stenched bathrooms, so be it. This “giving of punishment” isn’t pretty, especially when 16 and 17 year-olds start crying in front of you. So here come the magic questions...

How do you explain to someone they are wasting their potential?

How do you tell someone you love they can be so much more without insulting them?

How do you reveal to a teenage boy he has been blessed to be given an education and a home when so many in Honduras (and other countries) aren’t so lucky?

How do you explain that punishment isn’t given to make them mad, and that this punishment hurts us just as bad (if not worse) than them?

I left the meeting feeling drained. We congratulated those who had exceeded our expectations, and then met with the others. While telling all the boys who passed all their classes, my heart was bursting with joy. I am so proud of these boys. I know this must be some type of parental love. When I sit back I look at each boy and see how far they’ve come, actual tears come to my eyes. For those who know me, you get how big this is considering I hardly ever cry. It takes something really sad or extremely beautiful to moisten these “ojos”. Some of these boys I’ve been lucky to know well for a while now, others I’ve just gotten to know in the past year. I cannot wait continuing watching them grow, find themselves, and become great men.

Today I am praising God for these moments - when my heart is bursting with overflowing joy and hope for the futures of these guys. I am also praising Him for teaching me the lesson of punishing a child - only when there is a lesson to be learned. I look back and understand I was punished only for the purpose of being a better person .

So thank you, Lord, for these lessons you teach me. Thanks, mom and dad, for not saying “I told you so”. And thanks friends and family, for your prayers for these boys and their futures!

Here is a funny picture for all to enjoy. I found this on my camera this morning. One of the boys took this of me doing laundry last night. I am grateful and proud of our washing machine and dryer!! It saves me a lot of arm work.